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| i've transferred over to blogspot.
sorry xanga. new blog for college girl =) BYE!
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| well surrrrpriseeee. here i am again in the wee hours of the day blogging.
it's almost 3 am, and i'm not really sleepy yet. after this post, i'm gonna tune in to nick@night and watch fresh prince til i knock out hopefully.
so apparently, everything i do is all wrong for me and all wrong for everybody.
i'm kind of sad these days. there is absolutely nothing to do but eat.
i kinda feel empty too, now that most people have started school, or are about to (in a few days). and i'm still here, rotting away at work, in front of the computer and tv.
that's usually how my weeks go.
by next week, most of my friends, save for those going to uc's, are already gonna have school to deal with. i still have a few more weeks until moving day, and another 5 days until classes actually start.
what should i do?
seriously, i'm kind of thankful people are sticking around in arcadia, because i rest my hopes on them.
i can't wait til school starts though. lately i'm just doing things as filler, not because i want to or because i feel like it. it's really out of boredom and to pass time. that's why i eat so much too. shit
hmmm. now that the summer's coming to an end, i'm a little bit sad. and happy too of course. by now, most of the drama that's happened in the past few months seem so... i don't know, little? and that's how i feel about high school. suddenly, all the things that happened there seemed so... i don't wanna say meaningless, but i feel like they don't matter as much as they did at the time. it still kills me to talk about certain things, and i know i'm not completely over things like i say i am. that's probably why i'm so... erm, irresponsible, let's say, with my judgement. but let's not talk about that.
anyway, i know people say they want to have a clean slate for college. truthfully, i am a little lazy to start over. i wish i could just bring my friends and have them all go to the same school as me. lol. but no, that would just be ridiculous. i don't like change though.
but i think it's time for one
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| it's almost 4 am... wtf am i doing up still? D:
anyway, i think i'm going to blog a little bit until i'm tired.
so? what is there to talk about... nanananaaaaa. recently, kuo and i bought a 1000 piece puzzle of a polar bear and a cub surrounded by ice. it's freaking difficult and takes quite a chunk of my day everyday... sounds pathetic but it's really fun when you do it with a friend... or two or three. it's frustrating too lol, but it's such an accomplishment when you fit even just one puzzle with another. it's like YESS!!! one step closer. and then you get frustrated again because it's like hours before you find another fit.
but it's good fun. except yesterday one of my dogs chewed up a puzzle piece. SO MAD! now it's a 999 piece puzzle... wtf is that shit. what an idiot dog. if she weren't so cute i'd beat her ass.
hmmmm summer is still the same. lots of fun, sober or not. my parents haven't been on my case. not that much anyway. i have another month here so i'll have to stick it out a bit. on the other hand, i'm quite excited to move into my dorm room (: i'm excited to decorate it lol. i probably won't be when i see that i'll have very little to work with (i already knew that too).
starting college, i'm gonna be a whole new person. no procrastination or anything. i'll focus on my schoolwork 24/7. i'll be a good student and the partying stops.
... not. HAHAHAHHAHAHA yea right. i'll keep on with my terrible ways. except maybe even worse. we shall see.
ummmmm. oh yeah. i'm totally hypocritical. it's really annoying. i just realize what i say and what i do, and it's like wtf. i try not to but at some points, i just suck. but i don't think anyone else realize that the whole freaking world is hypocritical, so i'm not totally alone. seriously, people may claim that they are not, but they totally are. at least i know it. now i just have to do less of it? hard as that is D:
okay, what other random thoughts should i type? ummmmm. i really miss having close girlfriends. sigh. they've abandoned me so now all i have left are guys. useless, dirty, farts-a-lots<3 thanks a lot guys : <
okay fuck this i'm out of topics.
peace out
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i'm so sick of everything right now. things. are not. supposed to be this way. nothing is going right, it's pissing me off. i wish everything is much simpler, because i cannot take any more crap. i'm torn twenty million ways. one, i want to kill myself. two, i want to kill everyone else. and three, i want to kill the whole world.
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i am not having the summer i'm supposed to have. is this not supposed to be THE summer of my life? where i don't have to worry about school, grades, sats, or college applications? well apparently i have to worry about everything else.
my parents are fucking ridiculous. they're keeping a strict watch over me like i'm a prisoner. why? they won't let me out too late, and they bitch at me when i'm out two days in a row. well, what the fuck else am i supposed to do? this is summer. this is SUMMER. what else am i gonna do at home?! they bitch at me for sneaking out. well if they're really gonna keep me couped up in here, i'm gonna get bored. and when i get bored i think i want to be out. so i sneak out. but apparently there's lots of things to do at home. clean my room. do my laundry. clean the house. but i can only do so much before there's nothing left to do. gahd, i'm so sick of them. they went through my phone bills to see who i call / who calls me. and then they bitch at me because i talk to people on the phone really late (like in the AM). and they bitch at me for not sleeping correctly. they need to get off my case. i can't take this anymore.
i love my friends... but it makes me so fucking sad that we're not doing so well right now. looking back at like, pictures and stuff... we were so happy. what the hell happened? i guess things like this happen all the time. i just didn't think it would happen to us. not this fast. but whatever, we can still fix it. if not, then at least most of us are leaving this place.
and everyone needs to stop bitching. i know i do it a lot, but if everyone were to stop... i'm pretty sure i'll have nothing left to bitch about. JUST FUCKING STFU. i get enough from my parents. i'm gonna blow up pretty fucking soon. i didn't know how mad i was til now, until i was provoked. it's sad to say that this much anger pretty much overwhelms any relationships/friendships i may have. i may regret it later, or i may not, but if crap keeps happening, i'm not gonna care what happens to the people i hurt. and it may happen. i'm just saying. i've been keeping a lot of stuff in, hoping things would turn out alright. i know my temper sucks ass and i give attitude a lot, which is why i've been holding back. but now, i don't think i care so much. which is sad.
stupid bitch.
bye
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| Where does the last person you kissed go to school?
no school right nowwww
Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
lol not in a bad mood
What was the first thing you did this morning?
i woke up at noon
Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
i dont think it makes any difference. im pretty sure ill be doing the same thing
Who do you make fun of the most?
ummmm jimmy?
What are you looking forward to right now?
hmmmm having fun... ... lol
Where was your default picture taken?
idk. whats my default pic?
What is your current mood?
kinda bored/tired but i dont wanna stay home
Something you do a lot?
text
Who was the last person who held your hand?
uhh.. kchen LOL
Do you like someone?
hmmmmm good question. i dont think so
Have any obsessions?
hmmmmm idk not really
Have you ever had a surprise birthday party?
not a party just surprise... stuff lol
How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now?
i think 2
When and where did you last go out to eat?
yesterday night at macaroni grill
Are your parents in love?
i guess so lol
Where are you right now?
my room
What's your favorite season?
hmmmmm idk it used to be winter but i realize its too cold
What's your favorite month?
december (:
What is your favorite color(s)?
grey blue
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
night
When is the last time you had pizza?
hmmmmm i forgot. i had pasta hut though like 5 days ago heehe
Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
i guess so
When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
no i dont think so
Have you had the best night of your life?
ive had good nights
What are your plans for Saturday?
idk whatever comes up
Do you like your life?
its okay
What should you really be doing right now?
showering? maybe lol
Can you handle the truth?
i guess?
Last person you were in the car with besides your family?
daisy derek and henry
Currently wanting anything?
yeah kinda
Are you thinking about someone right now?
not at this moment
Do you like your hair?
not really -_-
Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
ummmm i guess so
What did you do last night?
took cue pictures and hung out at the park
What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
hmmmmmmmmm... i think the others was pretty scary. some other movies i forgot what though
Ever been arrested?
no
Ever been in a cop car?
no
Have you told a member of the oppostie sex to their face, that you loved them?
yeah
What shirt are you wearing now?
white tank
If you're being extremely quiet, what's it mean?
tired or pissed
Do you think you're a good person?
eh
Something you hate more than anything?
being a hypocrite
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